I can't let these emotions in.
It's not healthy, it's not helpful, it's even harmful.
I can't let it go, so I'll block it all.
Blocking it all is energy well spent.
It's so much work though.
So much.
And I can feel the temptation. I'm bursting to let it all flow in, to swim in it, to let the waves meet me, invigorating me, waking me up with joy.
It is winking at me from behind a very thin curtain.
I want these emotions so much.
I want HIM so much.
But
I can't afford this state of mind.
I can't let these emotions in.
It's not healthy, it's not helpful, it's even harmful.
